Why, Hello There
by The Death of Christine
Summary: Captain Hammer comes to pound in Dr. Horrible's face but happens upon the villain having a very intereseting dream. He decides to kill two birds with one stone and go with the flow. Horrible obliges.  Captain Hammer/Dr. Horrible


**AN: **I'm a naughty one. I wrote most of this while I was at a religious ceremony I was dragged to and the rest in front of my unsuspecting grandfather. Bwahaha. Anyways, first fic in forever, just saw Dr. Horrible for the first time last month. It was so good I didn't even think of slash…but while I was hiding in the bathroom at the meeting, I stumbled upon Hammer/Horrible slash. When I came back out and sat down, I was daydreaming about it, and then I was like, I _HAVE_ to make this a fic! So, here it is!

Dr. Horrible had just successfully stolen gold from a nearby bank with his trans-matter ray...well, successful until it transported back in liquid form. He saw the finished product and wrinkled his nose. Oh, well, at least it had been taken. That was what mattered, right? The taking was important, not the making...meh.

Tired and feeling only half-accomplished, Dr. Horrible yawned, then decided to strip out of his villain get up down to his normal Billy self, which entailed his "Take over the world!" boxers, where the phrase was written multiple times. He opened the window (it was hot!) and hopped onto his bed.

When he closed his eyes, the first thing he thought of was Captain Hammer. He mentally cursed at himself, trying to push the hero out of his mind. Normally, thinking of Hammer wasn't an issue (it just pissed Billy off until he pictured kicking his ass, then he was quite chipper), but lately...Well, lately he had been thinking of Captain Hammer...sexually...which was obviously because of his stress mixed with his lack of sexual release and his hatred for Hammer all combining! There was nothing really there! Hammer was the person he saw most often (not counting Moist), so naturally...ugh, Billy was getting tired reasoning with himself. He pushed Dr. Hammer out of his mind and thought of world domination.

That didn't last for too long. Soon he was fast asleep, his dick hard, his hands clutching at his pillows. He was moaning; obviously this was THAT kind of dream, and obviously it was about HIM.

If that dream had started just a few minutes later, when Captain Hammer entered Billy's room to knock the crap out of him for stealing from the bank, he wouldn't have seen the villain with his hard-on moaning, "Unnn..Captain Hammer..."

Captain Hammer immediately had a wicked grin across his face. Everyone wanted him, even his enemy.

He thought for a second, then decided getting laid and messing with his enemy at the same time was a pretty sweet deal.

Hammer knelt down and wrapped his hand around Billy's penis, moving it up and down swiftly (he was king masturbator). Billy's moans grew louder.

"You like that, huh?" Hammer asked.

Billy's eyes flew open, followed by his mouth dropping, followed by him jumping backwards, smashing his head into the wall, touching his head and going "OW," and finally asking, "What the FUCK are you doing?"

Hammer's eyes glimmered devilishly. "Just giving you what you want."

"Well, don't!"

Hammer shrugged, turned around, and headed out the door.

"...Wait." Billy barely managed to say. Hammer turned around with the same grin on his face.

"Stay..."

"Sorry, what was that?"

Billy flushed, agitated. "I asked you to STAY."

"Alright." Hammer turned back around and sat on the floor. They stared at each other.

"Not just _stay_, y'know, I mean…" Billy tried to say, his eyes roving everywhere besides to Hammer's eyes.

"What is it? What do you want me to do?" he sarcastically asked, tilting his head slightly as if he didn't know.

"I want you to…I want you to…fuck me…"

"Now _that_ I can do," Captain Hammer said, immediately stripping down (3 seconds, a new record!) and literally ripping off Billy's boxers. Captain Hammer assumed the dominant position, but Billy cried out, "No, not dry, the lube is in the drawer over there on the right!"

Captain Hammer smirked as he reached into the drawer to grab the lubricant and squeezing it on his dick. He chuckled, saying,

"Never thought you were a homo."

Dr. Horrible glared, his eyes like daggers.

"Never thought you fucked homos," he retorted.

Captain Hammer glared back. It was a hero vs. villian staring contest for only a couple of seconds before Hammer shoved Horrible backwards on the bed, quickly shoving his dick in the villlian's ass, who immediately gasped. His second reaction was that he writhed and wriggled beneath him, eyes half lifted and mouth open with loud moans escaping. That the sudden plunge into his tight inside had shocked him, that plus the shock that (and he would never tell Captain Hammer this) this was actually his first time…well, not his first time orally or anything like that, his first time having _sex¸_like, _sex _sex.

Captain Hammer groaned; he'd been in rear ends before, but this one was…(and he would never tell Dr. Horrible this)…perfect. He thrusted, his eyes shut, enjoying this so much he couldn't believe it. He actually let out a moan or two, which he rarely did. Billy, on the other hand, was definitely a screamer. He was moaning and groaning and saying, "Uhnn, Dr. Hammer!" and saying things like "Harder!" and "Faster!" Hammer loved how loud the villain was in bed, and especially liked the thought of neighbors who knew him hearing him in this state.

There was, however, Moist, who unfortunately came in at the wrong time. He was bringing in the mail, which was drenched, of course, when he heard loud noises. He walked towards the open door and poked his head in, wanting to see what maniacal project the Dr. was working on now. He got waaaay more than he bargained for, and with a ridiculously shocked expression on his face, he took off as fast as he could have without making too much noise.

Captain Hammer and Dr. Horrible didn't hear it, off course. Billy was getting louder now because Captain Hammer was jacking off Billy now, faster and faster, they were both moaning and so close, _so _close, and the room was spinning and getting hotter and hotter and then…ahh, release. They both basically collapsed onto the bed, panting and breathing heavily. They looked at each other in the eye and smiled.

They'd go back to being enemies soon enough. But this would be their day off.

**AN: **Comment or I eat your first borns. ;D


End file.
